Recommended Books, self help

Why Should We Practice The Art Of Saying No?

Book Review: Backbone Power The Science Of Saying No by Dr. Anne Brown, PhD

Why do we say ‘Yes’ when we want to say ‘No’ to things and people?

Some of us find it very difficult to say ‘No’. That’s what we call the people-pleasing syndrome. Too much of all things isn’t healthy. Too much sugar, too much salt, too much work, etc. Being TOO nice isn’t healthy.  Toxic and abusive people target people-pleasers. When you’re a person who is always trying to make everyone happy at the expense of your own happiness, then you might be a people-pleaser.

You were born to be real, not perfect.

People-pleasers believe that if they do this or that, people will like them. People-pleasers at the expense of their energy, peace of mind, and happiness, always do things that they don’t want to do. For what reason? Of course, to please the people around them. Unfortunately, in this world, we cannot please everybody. Whatever we do, whether it’s good or bad, there are always those people who will criticize us.

You can’t pour from an empty cup, take care of yourself first.

So how do we stop being a people-pleaser? I assure you, it’s NOT that easy. But it is possible. With the right tools, you’ll be able to overcome your people-pleasing habit. The first step you should take is to learn to say no. But how do we say no with confidence? Without feeling guilty? Without resentment?

This book Backbone Power The Science of Saying No, from my own experience, taught me how to love myself more. The author of this book, Dr. Anne Brown, a psychotherapist for more than 30 years gives many examples of real-life situations where we can apply the art of saying no.

The book is an eye-opener for everyone and I am so glad I have read it. I have learned the backbone tools every one of us must possess in order to become a warrior. As we start learning to say no, we will feel that it’s a breath of fresh air. Learning to say yes to ourselves means learning to say no to things and people that stress us out.

Love yourself first and everything else falls into line.

Start your journey towards authenticity today!

Get Backbone Power The Science of Saying No audiobook now. Listen to it anytime and anywhere. It can be downloaded to up to 3 of your devices.

You may also get the kindle and paperback copy on Amazon.

We owe ourselves the love that we so freely give to other people.

© Joan Cabras 2022. Permission is needed for reproduction in any form.

Bestselling Books, books, Books I Read, must read, Recommended Books

How To Stop Being A People-Pleaser?

What Is People-Pleasing?

People-pleasing is when you always say yes to others when you really mean no. You always seek others’ approval to feel better. I have read the book ‘Backbone Power The Science of Saying No‘ which talks about codependency, people-pleasing, having integrity, and the backbone in making the right decisions for yourself to help you be more successful. It is about being your authentic self and learning to say NO without feeling guilty.

Sometimes, we really find it hard to say ‘NO’ to the things that we don’t want to because we’re afraid that the person who’s asking for the favor will get mad. In other words, we live our lives thinking about what other people say about us. Which is a big NO-NO. We should live our lives doing the things that make us happy and not doing the things that cause us stress, anxiety, and even depression.

Be yourself, everyone else is already taken.

Oscar Wilde

People-pleasing is a very relatable topic for me because unfortunately, one of the dearest people in my life has this behavior. People who have this behavior are called ‘People-pleasers‘. They yearn for outside validation. They often feel like they have to say ‘yes’ when someone asks for their help. People pleasers are the nicest and most helpful people you may know. They (most of the time) never say “no.”

One of my family members has this. Whenever one of our relatives asks for help, he always finds a way to help them. I know there’s nothing wrong with helping people but when people are abusing you, then that’s another story. You should set healthy boundaries. Know your self-worth and love yourself first. Don’t give all because even your shadow leaves you when you are in darkness. Setting healthy boundaries means that you love and you respect yourself.

Now, ask yourself, ‘Do people like you because you do things for them? Or because you’re YOU? Share your answers by leaving a comment below.

Click here to get Free Preview Access. 

Life is about balance. Be kind, but don’t let people abuse you. Trust, but don’t be deceived. Be content, but never stop improving yourself.

Zig Ziglar

© 2022 Joan Cabras. Permission is needed for all forms of reproduction.

career, Virtual Assistant, Work From Home

How To Start Your Own Business In 6 Easy Steps

Build your own dreams, or someone else will hire you to build theirs.

— Farrah Gray

Do you want to start a business of your own? Do you have doubts and fear  in your mind right now? Do you plan to start a business but don’t know what kind of business to start? In order to know if you should start your own business, you first need to make sure that you are starting a business for the right reasons.

Below are examples of good reasons to start a business:

  • You have enough experience in an industry that you think you can go out on your own and your clients will come with you. For ex. Becoming a Freelance Virtual Assistant requires skills such as social media management, email marketing, etc.
  • You have identified a problem that your potential clients have, and think they will pay you for solving it.
  • You have leadership experience and want to be in charge.
  • You love the challenge.

Here are the steps you need to take to jump start on your business.

Continue reading “How To Start Your Own Business In 6 Easy Steps”