Why Should We Practice The Art Of Saying No?

Why do we say ‘Yes’ when we want to say ‘No’ to things and people?

Some of us find it very difficult to say ‘No’. That’s what we call the people-pleasing syndrome. Too much of all things isn’t healthy. Too much sugar, too much salt, too much work, etc. Being TOO nice isn’t healthy.  Toxic and abusive people target the people-pleasers. When you’re a person who is always trying to make everyone happy at the expense of your own happiness, then you might be a people-pleaser.

People-pleasers believe that if they do this or that, people will like them. People-pleasers at the expense of their energy, peace of mind, and happiness, always do things that they don’t want to do. For what reason? Of course, to please the people around them. Unfortunately, in this world, we cannot please everybody. Whatever we do, whether it’s good or bad, there are always those people who will criticize us.

“You were born to be real, not perfect.”

So how do we stop being a people-pleaser? I assure you, it’s NOT that easy. But it is possible. With the right tools you’ll be able to overcome your people-pleasing habit. The first step you should take is to learn to say no. But how do we say no with confidence? Without feeling guilty? Without resentment?

This book Backbone Power The Science of Saying No, from my own experience, taught me how to love myself more. The author of this book, Dr. Anne Brown, a psychotherapist for more than 30 years gives many examples of real life situations where we can apply the art of saying no.

“Love yourself first and everything else falls into line. “

The book is an eye-opener for everyone and I am so glad I have read it. I have learned the backbone tools everyone of us must possess in order to become a warrior. As we start learning to say no, we will feel that it’s a breath of fresh air. Learning to say yes to ourselves means learning to say no to things and people that stress us out.

“You can’t pour from an empty cup, take care of yourself first.”

Start your journey towards a successful life today!

Get Backbone Power The Science of Saying No audiobook now at an introductory rate of $4.99!! Listen to the audiobook anytime and anywhere you want whether you’re driving, before sleeping, relaxing, sitting on the beach/park, etc.

You may also get the kindle and paperback copy on Amazon.

“We owe ourselves the love that we so freely give to other people.” 


©Joan Cabras 2019. Permission needed for reproduction in any form.

Are You a People-Pleaser?



“Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.” ~ Oscar Wilde


This is one of the most relatable topic that I really want to create a post about since 2014. So, why since 2014? It’s because I have read the book ‘Backbone Power The Science of Saying No‘ which talks about having the integrity and backbone in making the right decisions for yourself to help you be more successful. It is about being your authentic self and learning to say NO without feeling guilty. Sometimes, we really find it hard to say ‘NO’ to the things that we don’t want to because we’re afraid that the person who’s asking for the favor will get mad. In other words, we live our lives thinking what other people say about us. Which is a big NO-NO. We should live our lives doing the things that makes us happy and not doing the things that causes us stress, anxiety, and even depression.

People-pleasing is a very relatable topic to me because unfortunately, one of the dearest people in my life has this behavior. People who have this behavior are called ‘People-pleasers’. They yearn for outside validation. They often feel like they have to say ‘yes’ when someone asks for their help. People pleasers are the nicest and most helpful people you may know. They (most of the times) never say “no.”

One of my family members have this. Whenever one of our relatives ask for help, he always find a way to help them. I know there’s nothing wrong with helping people but when people are abusing you, then that’s another story. You should set healthy boundaries. Know your self-worth and love yourself first. Don’t give all because even your shadow leaves you when you are in darkness. Setting healthy boundaries means that you love and you respect yourself.

Now, ask yourself, ‘Do people like you because you do things for them? Or because you’re YOU? Share your answers by leaving a comment below.

Click here for the Free 1st chapter copy of Backbone Power book.

“Life is about balance. Be kind, but don’t let people abuse you. Trust, but don’t be deceived. Be content, but never stop improving yourself.” Zig Ziglar

© 2016 Joan Cabras. Permission needed for all forms of reproduction.

Photo Credit : Concord90

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